A X O N - A X O F F

I agree that that joke isn't as bad as some of its other versions, but it's still problematic because it refers to Juan's biological mother as "his mum" when his adoptive mother is more of a mum.

Thu, 23 May 2013 19:34:04 -0500

vondell-swain: she wear snort snirt i wear sneep snop

Thu, 23 May 2013 18:20:50 -0500

vondell-swain:

she wear snort snirt i wear sneep snop

hiddencube: Dumb Jokes #67 A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a...

Thu, 23 May 2013 14:48:42 -0500

hiddencube:

Dumb Jokes #67

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Amal.” The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him “Juan”. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, “But they are twins. If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.”

:DD

HA! It’s nice to finally see a variation of this joke that isn’t racist.

3rdrudy: sspock: I made a thing It is a very accurate thing

Thu, 23 May 2013 14:36:23 -0500

3rdrudy:

sspock:

I made a thing

It is a very accurate thing

“When I get paroled I’m coming for your trashcan,...

Wed, 22 May 2013 13:26:01 -0500

“When I get paroled I’m coming for your trashcan, bub…”

this frickin Kentucky heat/humidity makes me simultaneously want to go on a murderous rampage and...

Tue, 21 May 2013 02:38:00 -0500

this frickin Kentucky heat/humidity makes me simultaneously want to go on a murderous rampage and lay around in bed all day

Ah, well, I would too if I had Photoshop. I need to rely on Instagram filters. Does that concealer work?

Tue, 21 May 2013 02:32:56 -0500

Yes! But it’s not for everyone. I used to use Clinique Advanced Concealer because it was very opaque and had a matte finish that wouldn’t “melt” off of my face, but it only comes in two shades that don’t match my skin anymore. Even Better Concealer comes in lots of colors. It’s thick and opaque—think Halloween greasepaint—but it doesn’t look greasy and it stays put. You have to get an exact match (let the Clinique ladies help you) because it doesn’t blend excellently. I think clogs my pores a little more than the Advanced Concealer did, but it doesn’t seem to exacerbate my cystic acne.

what acne?!

Tue, 21 May 2013 02:25:47 -0500

I touch up my selfies with the Clone Stamp Tool before I post them. :P

dalestuckies: i hate seeing people my age who’ve got their life together already like...

Tue, 21 May 2013 02:18:51 -0500

dalestuckies:

i hate seeing people my age who’ve got their life together already like wtf

I’ll never feel like I’ve got my life together until I stop feeling compelled to buy every new Pokemon game and get my adult acne under control.

I’m rewatching Arrested Development episodes before the...

Tue, 21 May 2013 02:17:00 -0500

I’m rewatching Arrested Development episodes before the new season starts, and I just realized that the gag where Buster Bluth tries to get injured by the falling wall in S2E2 is an reference to Buster Keaton’s Steamboat Bill Jr.

slightly-mad-banana-tree: theholyoyster: Queen - Great King...

Tue, 21 May 2013 01:48:49 -0500

slightly-mad-banana-tree:

theholyoyster:

Queen - Great King Rat

The Great King Rat was born and died today- the 21st of May

This started out as one of my least favorite Queen songs (something about “Great King Rat was a dirty old man / And a dirty old man was he” irritated me) but now it’s one of my favorites. All of Freddie’s compositions grow on me over time.

adriofthedead: don’t squeeze the caterpiller’s butt, that’s...

Tue, 21 May 2013 01:46:34 -0500

adriofthedead:

don’t squeeze the caterpiller’s butt, that’s rude

What he’s saying:

#rebornbaby #rebornfamily #rebornmommy #reborndoll

Tue, 21 May 2013 01:39:28 -0500

Please like this post if you’re a Freddie Mercury blog that won’t also saturate my...

Mon, 20 May 2013 14:52:01 -0500

Please like this post if you’re a Freddie Mercury blog that won’t also saturate my dashboard with David Bowie, Paul McCartney, Jimmy Page, Roger Waters, Roger Daltrey, or Pete Townshend.

BUT HEY, all power to you if you like those musicians! I love them too, just not their faces! **preparing for deluge of anonymous hate in my ask box**

ohmycomelookatthis: axon-axoff: How does Jeff Goldblum do it?!...

Mon, 20 May 2013 14:42:58 -0500

ohmycomelookatthis:

axon-axoff:

How does Jeff Goldblum do it?! He’s 60 years old, he wears obnoxious-preppy and dad-trying-to-be-hip clothes, his girlfriends are always less than half his age, and yet he always looks amazing and seems so darn likeable!

You’re asking how he does it? Have you SEEN him? Have you heard or seen interviews with him? Have you heard him play? Have you seen him act? THAT’S how he does it.

Correct answer!

professormatt: Punknose triptych that I designed for myself...

Mon, 20 May 2013 14:38:52 -0500

professormatt:

Punknose triptych that I designed for myself (left) my son Jake (middle) and my little brother Andy (right). Peanut bowl behind us and Cascade Mountain range reflected in our shades.

Awesome, Dad! :D

Photo

Mon, 20 May 2013 01:27:02 -0500

beesandbombs: secrets of the universe

Sun, 19 May 2013 22:08:49 -0500

beesandbombs:

secrets of the universe

trivialarmageddons: Reasons the yahoo thing is good: they might actually listen to our...

Sun, 19 May 2013 20:39:43 -0500

trivialarmageddons:

Reasons the yahoo thing is good:

they might actually listen to our suggestions

new video player

a functioning chat system

they are bringing more money to this website so it could be more stable

the woman in charge of yahoo Marissa Mayer is actually really great at fixing things

like wow she pretty much saved the entire company

stop acting like ads will be the end of us all

ads will only be on your dashboard not your blog

These are great points! And maybe Tumblr users will quit reblogging photos of David Karp’s creepily delicate face and calling him “Daddy.”

ALRIGHT YOU LITTLE S***S

Sun, 19 May 2013 18:24:41 -0500

tawnyshine:

worthyourweightinfanfiction:

dreamwurks:

hacheload:

rosenkristall:

TUMBLR AND IT’S FUTURE IS AT STAKE HERE

SIGN AND REBLOG IF YOU WANT TO SAVE TUMBLR FROM YAHOO

SIGNAL BOOST

I CHECKED AND THIS IS NOT A DRILL

I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

We need 5,000,000 signatures

i know there’s enough bloggers out there

sign twice using different emails.

SPREAD THIS LIKE WILDFIRE

I just queued this like seventeen times prepare yourselves

HA HA HA HA. Do you really think that the email addresses of 5,000,000 teenage fangirls would matter more to Tumblr HQ than 1.1 BILLION DOLLARS? If you can even get that many “signatures” (which I doubt, because that would be half of the entire Tumblr userbase), you’re assuming that your individual objection is worth $220 to Tumblr (yes, 1.1 billion dollars divided by 5 million petitioners is is $220). Sorry dudes. Let’s just hope for the best.